I’m sat here currently watching shite on tv to curb the insane rush of anxiety I get nightly, anxiety that Stems from my inability to control the stupidity of my fellow human beings, anxiety that bubbles to the surface when I think of potentially allowing my children to come into contact with a deadly virus because people are absolute arseholes, there are some who aren’t like, don’t get me wrong but just recently the majority are proving to be scarily stupid.
I’m fearful that no matter how safely I play the game of life there, from my past experiences of humans is going to be a tosser who’s is going to fuck it up for me and mine.
I don’t have the best track record with people and their abilities to keep promises or their word and that’s from trusted and well thought of people in my life so what hope is there of complete strangers wanting to “have my back” it the midst of this terrible pandemic?
I don’t even WANT to go to work in my “key worker” role, never in a million years would I have thought I’d say that about being a glorified shelf stacker in a small supermarket, we essentially were the workers who “aren’t going anywhere in life” who have “no skills or qualifications” supposedly.
I am far from dead end, I have taken a back seat for my kids to enable them to have a mum who gets to see their firsts and is lucky enough to to have a supportive partner. What happens when we get sick because of my job!
Scary shit it really is, I just wish common sense would prevail, I’m too weak minded to have to keep letting this shit go round and round. Wake me up when it’s all over!
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